Bertie the Broccoli - 29 Apr 2016

In a paddock on the top of a hill,
A dirty old farmer got a big thrill.
It was darkness, it was the night
When I first got a mighty big fright . 
In comes the farmer with his knife,
Cutting and slashing all through his life
He looked at all my lovely big leaves
And hacked off my florets as quick as you please
My life as a broccoli was surely over
I'd soon be ploughed in for some clover
I was screaming and I was sore
I'd never had my top ripped off before
Eating veggies is wholesome and pure? 
Realise you shouldn't be so sure
What we go thru ain't so great
So you get some veg on your plate 

When you go to the shops for some kale

It's really your soul that is for sale

When you look at some cauliflower curd

You might be turning into quite a turd

Attack a broccoli you'll hear some screams 

It'll come for you in your dreams 

Heartache, woe, spurts of blood

Revolution comes in a great big flood 

Kale, cauli, sprouts and me,

Brassica, baby, are born to be free

Everybody sing now-

FEED THE WORLD,
Let them know it's time for ham
FEED THE WORLD,
If you're kosher then try some lamb
FEED THE WORLD
Save the poor old broccoli
FEED THE WORLD
Let's all think of poor Bertie

(Authorised by E.J. Spatchcock for the Australian Abattoir Industry Development Fund)