A World of Pure Imagination - 13 Jul 2016

Last week I was on leave and fortunate enough to be able to walk Matty the Wonder-dog to the farthest reaches of Blackburn North where I came upon the Australian Corrosion Association. I hid in the bushes, listened carefully, and was fortunate enough to come away with this transcript of a workplace conversation between two 'rusted-on' (BOOM) employees:

 

Bill: Morning John.

John: Kia-ora eh bro!

Bill: What's with you, John?

John: Don't you know, eh bro, I'm speaking like this to represent the In Zid part of Australasia eh?

Bill: I see. Well, did you encounter any interesting corrosions over the weekend?

John: Did I ever, cuz! There was a hole in the side of my chully bun that I saw when I put my jandles on. Sweet as!

Bill: I didn't know they made eskies of metal?

John: That's the choice thing about being from the South Island eh bro!

Bill: So tell me about the hole in the esky?

John: Don't rattle me dags, cuz! I'm getting to it bro! I was sitting on the chully bun to stick me jandles on and I fell straight through! I was pooped I was bro! It was puckerood - heaps munted!

Bill: I see. So are you happy being here in Blackburn North?

John: Better than Invercargill eh cuz!

 

In the unlikely circumstance you are interested in this sort of thing, you can join the Australasian Corrosion Association for only $75 and be sent the quarterly "Journal of the ACA", as well as the more practical-minded monthly newsletter, "Oxidise This!" which features some of the key developments in the world of corrosion and rust, handy tips for using chewing-gum to fix a rusty B747, and includes a column of blatherings by their agent provocateur columnist, Andrew Screw Loose.

 

Members of the ACA also enjoy reciprocal rights to attend events at other semi-professional interest groups, including the Paper Clip Manufacturer's Society of Queensland, the Asia-Pacific Name Badge Convention Committee, the Koo-wee-rup Celery Farmers' Promotions Society, and the Murtoa and District Haberdashers Amalgamated Collective. They are currently negotiating with the Batley Town Guild Women's League Historical Reenactment Society.