Egbertina the Echidna - 28 Sep 2016

Last year when visiting my sister's farm, we had a close encounter with Egbertina the Echidna, who wandered over the grass in the garden and dug herself in when approached. I went to my sister's farm again this week however Egbertina was nowhere to be seen! What has become of her?

 

We can only assume that she has joined the throngs in suburbia, beavering their way through the inwards at the Department of Nonsense, a place very much like this one. Here's another typical day:

 

6:05: Alarm.

6:20: Breakfast. Ants.

6:45: Leave for work. Looks like rain - better put the raincoat on for the walk to the station.

6:46: Raincoat punctured by my spines.

7:05: On the train. Magic would be good here. Maybe "Flatulenco expelliarmus"

7:50: At the office. Put lunch in the fridge.

8:05: Derek from accounts came over and talked about the latest health scare with his pet goldfish Igor. Not really interested but at least it delayed the report on the banana production targets.

8:26: Computer system problems. We're being told that when we finally get Windows 95, these error messages involving squirrels will disappear. I like ants, not squirrels.

8:45: Stationery ordering time. Goldfarb from Production is telling me I should get the squarey-triangular paper clips, not the round type. I said I wouldn't do it - there was too much store in the round ones. He suggested I conduct a non-binding plebiscite and then do what he wants anyway.

10:50: Snack time. Dried ants.

11:00: Work meeting on security. I'll be fine! I'll just roll up into a ball.

12:20: Lunch. Ants. They were a bit cold in the fridge so zapped them. Mabel from Marketing was a bit put out. "Ants in the Microwave!" she screeched. I told her to try one. She ran away crying,

1:00: Manager called me in. Mabel was there. I said what was more ridiculous - ants in the microwave, or an echidna in the office. She said that wasn't helpful. I said would she prefer ants in the toaster. She said that wasn't helpful either. I said I can suck them out through my nose. She said that now I just wasn't trying. I said Mabel was very trying too.

1:03: Meeting ends.

1:04: Equity course. Grumble. I can't see how the word "microwave" and the word "ants" are such big problem. This equity course really isn't getting to the heart of the issue.

2:30: Rang the 'Help Desk'. They said I was important to them. I said a few choice words but I was on hold so only Enja was listening. I don't want to sail away - how will I find ants?

2:46: Ended up speaking to Wilfred, one of the Touchpoint Coordinators told me he couldn't help. Hang up.

3:30: Afternoon tea. Ants.

5:12: On the train. The fluff lady strikes again. She backed off when I raised my spines.

5:50: Walking home from train. Ads at bus stops talk about new action movies or takeaway dinners. Not really interested.

6:35: Dinner. Crumbed fried ant schnitzel on a bed of crushed ants with mint sauce and shallots, followed by ant crumble.

7:30: David Attenborough: "Termites of Africa, Part 7". Such a delight. Had some dried ants while watching.

8:40: In bed reading "Termites of the Kalahari - a pictorial history".